As Christian men our goal is to grow into maturity. We are not to be childish temper tantrum throwing, penis fondling, Mama’s boys. We are men. We are husbands and fathers that need to put to death The Man-child mentality.
Puer aeternus Latin for ‘eternal boy’ in mythology is a child-god who is forever young. In psychology, it is an older person whose emotional life has remained at an adolescent level, which is also known as Peter Pan syndrome.
Until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes.
Ephesians 4:13-14 ESV
Refusal to fight.
“Many young men are struggling academically, socially, spiritually, financially, and sexually. They are living at home into their late 20s and 30s, choosing to remain in the comforting confines of their parents’ care rather than testing the unknown waters of independence. Instead of striving to create something of themselves, many prefer the familiar and comfortable virtual worlds of internet, pornography, and video games.” Academyofideas.com
If we are not careful we will build spaces to escape from the responsibilities of Biblical Manhood. A virtual kingdom to pretend that we have our crap together. A place where no one questions us about our decisions and everyone agrees with us. A virtual paradise for our folly. As our homes burn from the dragons we refuse to fight.
Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.
Proverbs 14:29 ESV
Men do not throw temper tantrums. We do not explode in anger in a barrage of cussing and fussing when we don’t get our way. That my friends is Man-Child behavior. That behavior needs to be taken to the back and shot. Why because losing our tempers is soft-serve. And no dragon is afraid of soft-serve. The folly in this is that we actually think you are operating in power.
Killing Tinker bell
With much seductive speech she persuades him; with her smooth talk she compels him. All at once he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as a stag is caught fast till an arrow pierce’s its liver; as a bird rushes into a snare; he does not know that it will cost him his life.
Proverbs 7:21-23 ESV
It goes without saying but I am going to say it porn is Man-Child behavior. Foundling your penis while in the shower or strolling on your phone is not Manliness embodied.
“And when a man finds a particular woman beautiful and attractive, and then he satisfies himself by watching as another man takes her, he is deadening all the remaining vestiges of masculinity within him. It is not a hyper-masculine impulse to watch other people get it on. It is the opposite. It is one of the hyenas strutting in front of the other hyenas, doing his best leonine imitation. It is not a cosmopolitan decadence. It is not worldly wise. It is not the experience of a man of the world. It is getting your jollies through losing, which is, as sexual perversions go, down near the bottom.”
Douglas Wilson Pornography for Cuckolds
We have to fight against the allure of the pixelated breast and hinderparts that don’t belong to us. The blinking lights of the screen are attractive but only because they are baiting you into a trap. Before you know it you are being digested by the Angler fish of lasciviousness. There is no hope unless the sword of the spirit guts that son of a flounder and releases you from the pit.
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24 ESV
“…he hopes to be caught, sucked in, enveloped, and devoured. He seeks, as it were, the protecting, nourishing, charmed circle of the mother, the condition of the infant released from every care…No wonder the real world vanishes from sight!”
Carl Jung, Aion
Failure to launch is another cause of Man-Child syndrome. The lack of strong men causes young men to cling to their mothers. Also causes the mother to be overbearing to make up for the miss piece. She also will use the child to fill the hole left by the man. This is why is it imperative to lead your family.
“Sons also need to watch their father in the world. They need him to show them how to be in the world, how to work, how to bounce back from adversity…They need the activation of their inherent masculinity both by outer modeling and by direct affirmation.”
James Hollis, Under Saturn’s Shadow
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.
Ephesians 5:25-30 ESV
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Ephesians 6:4 ESV
How to destroy the Man-Child in you
1. Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7 ESV
2. Know your triggers: so that we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his designs. 2 Corinthians 2:11 ESV
3. Get some Wise council: Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.
Proverbs 15:22 ESV
Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.
Proverbs 18:1 ESV